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banner year

by Megan Karangutkar

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1.
they built the roads in your hometown now your hands feel hot when you turn on crescent avenue you lost control when you found out but you don't cry if you don't think about the birch tree at night
2.
i asked if you'd wait for me i'm sorry i didn't want to cheat but slipping in a pool of blame tripping into my mundane you said it shouldn't be a defense i think of that every now and again to let it hang over my head batter up my banner year we were in the parking lot i could tell that something's off i think that if you say my name maybe we could find a way the trees are always pouring out you're reading me in every branch it's turbulent and green i never know what you mean it's pulling teeth every single time what if what i want is already mine it's written all over the beams show me where and i'll never leave i don't feel so brave anymore can't remember if i locked the door the lights are on and our friends are gone this is what i could have loved - we were in the parking lot you're asking me just what's been wrong i don't want to talk would you just start the car
3.
i was finding lemons on a long walk home you would try hard but i'm ice cold tracing the roof grey to blue in cold air i feel new i would keep it quiet in the afternoon breathing all the air in your room backseat drunk again i try and you pretend better if you don't swim better if you don't get in maybe on a different night maybe in a different light you know they're gonna break your heart crumble in a hundred arms i told you the water's cold never stopped you before
4.
jenny says she's feeling low when she thinks of his overdose "oh no" oh no she said it doesn't make any sense you said that it never did i know go slow middle class ambitions roll off the ceiling we're talking about corruption like it's in the water the city only ever hurt my feelings boundless mind of mine don't let me down jenny says she's all hooked up tells me that she loves this stuff well i'm done it's all gone crying on an empty street screaming what you mean to me it's not love and it's not enough - not all of us get to swim in hockney pools but you didn't have to be so god damn cruel not all of us get to swim in hockney pools but you never had to be so fucking cruel

about

songs about california and songs about washington.

credits

released August 25, 2019

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Megan Karangutkar Santa Clara, California

quiet summer

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